Friday, January 4, 2008

Obama's Message: Wish for Change in One Hand...

Before I launch a rant about Mr. Obama, let me preface it by saying I live in the Chicago suburbs where Mr. Obama is from. As such, I see him on television more than the average American who doesn't live in the Chicago area. I read his editorials in the Chicago newspapers and try to keep up with the local coverage of what is going on.

Thursday was a big day for Mr. Obama, winning convincingly in Iowa. For a black man who's middle name is Hussein to win in a state that is 95% white is amazing. But there's a simple reason he won. People want change. Even most conservative Republicans realize you can only burn a country to the ground for so long before there's nothing left of value. So they want change, too. Hence, they voted for Mike Huckabee.

Obama and Huckabee have something in common: they keep saying we need change, we need change, we need change. Then they say, and Obama really digs into this, that we need to hope for a better future. But they aren't finishing the sentence. How's that old saying go? Hope for a better future in one hand and crap in the other and see which fills up first? That's all we're left with, is hope. And at this point, after listening to Obama and Huckabee, hope isn't the hand we're getting, because they aren't revealing how they will change things. They claim they would be fresh faces in Washington, but in reality they're the same ugly mugs we've grown tired off, only cleaned up and covered in fresh makeup. They have no plans, only sweet nothings to whisper in our ears.

While Huckabee comes off as a creepy sort who just looks like he's lying, Obama is a relatively likable guy. He's definitely become more polished since he burst on the scene at the 2004 Democratic Convention. The problem is, he has no message. Don't get me wrong, he has perfected a speech in the last couple of months, in an attempt to sound like he has a message. But it's hollow. "Hope." "Hope for change." "Vote for me and hope for change." "Are you ready?" "Let's change the world!" Never mind that he doesn't get into what he wants to change, or how he is going to do it. I really want to like this guy. I'd love to support him. Local guy makes good. It's a warm and fuzzy story just waiting to happen. But he doesn't give any reason to actually expect things with be different with him. He backtracks on issues, when he actually admits to having a stance. For example, when Don Imus insulted the women's basketball team, Obama wouldn't even say what Imus said was stupid, offensive, etc. He jumped on the bandwagon long after the train had left the station. I think the best parallel I can give is that W. hesitates when he speaks because he's waiting for Karl Rove to tell him what to say, but Obama hesitates because he's waiting for someone else to write his policy.

Yet their competition is even worse. Hillary keeps repeating her catch phrase of "change" over and over, hoping it sticks somewhere. The problem is, unless you're brain dead, all you have to do to know she's not buying into it is listen to her. Watch her. She's lying through her teeth. She's a third-rate actor in an Ed Wood film that can't even deliver her lines without revealing her disgust for the script. I can't buy into what she's selling. I can't buy into her claim that her motivation is to help our country. She's just another lying whore trying to get into the oval office. No disrespect to women intended, because her male counterparts are every bit the whores as well. They all say what they think we want to hear, and then top off their campaigns with "who is the bigger asshole," a game which had it's moment of Nirvana earlier this week when Huckabee called a press conference to say he wasn't going to run his new commercial attacking Romney because it was too negative, and then he proceeded to play the commercial for the gathered media. We can't confirm that Huckabee claimed Romney chokes a dozen kittens every morning before breakfast, or that he participates in Satanic orgies the third Wednesday of every month, but Romney has admitted to strapping his family dog to the roof of his car and taking 12 hour drives on the interstate.

Lost amid the finger pointing and hope wishing is that the candidates carefully avoid the land mines of actual issues and plans. Nobody wants to actually accomplish anything, they just want the fame and fortune of being President and lining the pockets of their friends, like W. has spent 8 years perfecting.

Insurance for poor kids? Screw that! Let's give my friends at Halliburton hundreds of millions of dollars to not do anything instead! What's that? You can't afford health insurance? Well, have we got a fine for you! You'll learn your lesson sooner or later. Work, spend, repeat. Don't ask questions. Don't pay attention. Just move along.

Don't mind me, I'm just a little pissed that the only candidates who are actually talking about sensible, concrete change for the better (Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich) didn't fare so well.

There have always been two sets of rules. One for the rich, and one for the rest of us. I'm just having a problem because the rules were never left out for everyone to see like they are now. It's kind of like public fornication, only not only are we watching what is going on, we're also the ones getting...