Saturday, January 19, 2008

Why Is Rudy Still Wasting Our Time? Drop Out Already

For a "major candidate" who gets invited to private debates on Fox "News", ABC TV, and others that real candidates get screwed out of participating, Rudy Giuliani is having about as much success as Tom Tancredo, who has a built-in excuse (that being nobody knows who the hell Tom Tancredo is). I won't compare Giuliani's numbers to Ron Paul's because Paul is kicking Giuliani's ass. Giuliani's campaign has been so bad even Fred Thompson and Duncan Hunter have gotten in haymakers on Rudy.

How does the front-runner for the Republican nomination just a couple of months ago, who raised $47 million before the end of September, draw less than 5% of the vote in primary after primary?

The answer is probably more obvious than it seems. It took all of about 2 seconds for Americans to realize Giuliani is a one trick pony who has no message other than "elect me because terrorists attacked my city while I was mayor." Instead of realizing that that doesn't qualify the man to be president, Giuliani thought being in charge during the worst attack on mainland America would somehow resonate with voters.

Perhaps he revealed too much when, in his personal Mein Kampf moments, he said the Patriot Act didn't go far enough, that his concept of "freedom" is for citizens to obey their government, and that Islam itself is the next enemy we should be planning a war against. Enough Americans may shop at Walmart and watch Fox to keep both in business, but all the propaganda in the world couldn't buy Rudy any votes. His chance at being president ended when the Republican party decided not to ask Dick Cheney to step aside at the start of W.'s second term to groom Rudy as the next convict-in-waiting. The only person who hasn't admitted Giuliani's campaign is finished is The Boy Who Cried 9/11 himself.

Let's take a closer look at his numbers.

In Iowa Giuliani finished in 6th place, drawing only 4% of the vote. Ron Paul had 10% in Iowa, something Giuliani can only dream of.

In Wyoming, Rudy drew 0% of the vote. That's not a misprint. Rudy Giuliani was defeated in Wyoming by Duncan Hunter by a margin of 8% to 0%. Duncan-Freaking-Hunter trounced the man.

In New Hampshire Rudy barely edged out Ron Paul for fourth place, winning 9% of the vote to Paul's 8%. That's despite Ron Paul not being allowed to participate in a nationally televised debate on Fox "News" that Giuliani was a part of.

In Michigan Giuliani lost to a man who 4 out of 5 doctors agree has no pulse, "Dead" Fred Thompson. The Law and Order actor drew 4% of the vote to Rudy's insidious 3%, knocking Hizzonah to another sixth place finish.

In Nevada earlier today Rudy finished again in sixth place, this time with 4% of the vote, watching the ghost of Fred Thompson garner 8% of the vote and Ron Paul surge to 14%.

Which leads us to South Carolina, and with 82% of the votes counted as I write this, Rudy again languishes in sixth place with 2% of the vote.

The lyrics of a song called Don't Waste My Time (by a little known group named Naked Aggression) seem to be written just for this occasion:

Stop wasting my time
Why don`t you just shut your trap
You`re just so damn full of crap


Or, as Count Rugen said, "Good heavens. Are you still trying to win?...You've been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that's about the worst thing I've ever heard."

Digg!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That last reference you made is "inconceivable."

Anonymous said...

i found the funniest comment about the top ten sexiest candidates, here http://www.opentopix.com/topic/politics/top-ten-sexiest-candidates-guiliani

NOSFERATU said...

GHOUL-iani! GHOUL-iani! GHOUL-iani!

Wait, we DON'T want GHOUL-iani?
Back, back, BACK TO THE CRYPT, CREEP!!

SOHORNY BEAVER said...

I'm just enjoying Guiliani's implosion SO much, I should be ashamed of myself... Oh, wait a minute, he will still be able to go back on the lecture circuit for 100k a pop, book signings, dinners, etc, etc, and have a GREAT life... That is, unless people are SICK OF HIM.